Drive Thru Racism--Would you like fries with that?

My husband and I decided to go on a family date for some good Mexican food. Unfortunately, our one-year-old hasn't developed a taste for it yet, so like the good parents we are, we decided to get her some healthy food before we arrived at the restaurant--McDonald's. Nothing like a a good Mickey D's cheeseburger and some apple slices for dinner.

We pulled into the parking lot of the shopping center in Manassas that houses the McDonald's. It's an awkward setup. You have to drive through the "road" of the parking lot and turn left into the drive thru. There isn't a long lane, so if there are cars there, you will have to wait with your blinker on. Well, as we approached and began to turn left out of the "road" into the drive thru lane, a woman who was driving behind us decided to hit the gas and pass us to get in the drive thru lane. If my husband hadn't been so quick on the brakes, we would have collided.

Remember as I tell you this story, that we are halfway through a left turn and are now blocking the main road through the parking lot.

She backs up away from the speaker to stop beside us, rolls down the window, and says, "I'm sorry. I didn't see you!" Here is the basic conversation that followed:

My husband:  "REALLY?? You didn't SEE us?
Lady: "What wrong with YOU?"
My husband: "What's wrong with me? You almost hit us!"
Lady: "I SAID I was SORRY!"

(A car pulls up behind us at this point...remember we are both blocking traffic now.)

My husband: "Just go! [pointing to the drive thru speaker]
Lady: "You don't talk to ME like that! I know you don't talk to your wife like that!"
My husband: "Look, you almost hit us trying to get in the drive thru. If you are going to get something to eat, just GO please!"
Lady: "You don't talk to me like that! This is not a white man's world anymore!" [Driving away and up to the speaker] We have a BLACK president now!"

That came out of left field. We sat there in stunned silence, looked at each other, and both asked, "Did she really just say that?" Slowly we pulled into the drive thru lane to be considerate of the person who had to sit there during our little exchange. I experienced a wide range of emotions all at once. Anger. Fury. Disbelief. Shock. Confusion. Frustration. Pity.


The irony of it is that I never even ONCE in the "discussion" consciously registered that she was a black woman. At least, I assume she is black. Living around here, you can't really judge someone's ethnicity by their skin color. However, it was obvious that the first thing she noticed about us was that we were white. And I am the racist? The only prejudice I extended to her was that against crappy drivers (which are abundant around here).

My inner redneck wanted to get out of the car, walk up to her car and really let her know what I think. I wanted to tell her that I don't see people's color. That I chose my profession of an ESOL teacher (and teacher in general) because I love people of all cultures, and one of my greatest joys in my job is learning about students' heritage. I wanted to call her out on her obvious racism towards me when I never threw any at her. What did the President have to do with the fact that she can't drive? Why in the world did you BACK UP and block traffic anyway?  I wanted to rage and rage about the injustice of her statements.

But I didn't.

That's redneck in me....not the me who is trying to put off the natural man and follow Christ.

I remembered that we should pray for those who hurt us. I considered praying that she would choke on her burger...but then I guess that's not exactly what praying for your enemies means.

So I swallowed my outrage (and nearly choked) and really prayed for her. I prayed for me that I wouldn't be so quick to anger--that I would teach my daughter by my example to love my enemy--even though I didn't choose to be enemies. She chose ME as HER enemy. I prayed that she could stop judging people by the color of their skin and instead judge them by the content of their character.

I thought of Christ. I thought of how he endured unimaginable injustices at his enemies' hands. Yet amidst the greatest torture that any man has ever endured, he prayed for his enemies. He extended love to them to the very end of his mortal ministry and will continue to do so throughout eternity. If he set this example, how can I harbor anger in my heart for a stranger in a drive thru?

I worked all of this out in my mind and heart as we drove to the restaurant. Eventually I felt a sense of peace replace the anger and frustration. To forgive truly is sublime.

Then, with a sly smile, I turned to my husband and said, "You know, she was talking to you, not me. It never has been a woman's world!" We both had a good laugh at that and decided to put the anger behind us and enjoy our time together.